The C.M.A.* Index

*campus mental atmosphere

"I'll have the Anglo-sized hashbrowns."

In a recent bout of hobnobbing, the Index got it on good account that after the RSC's first encounter with 21-year-old night, a few helpful students introduced a few willing Company members to that great southern sobering deli, the feast of late-night kings, the Waffle House. But wait, that's not the good part. The good part is, one of the Company members passed out in the bathroom for the better part of an hour. The Index won't give names, but it is curious--what is in that batter?

Love me some rowdiness

The Index likes a good fight as much as the next non-being, but the consequences of defending one's pride have gone too far these days. The blood flew, the gloves came off, Canada actually got a gold, and Phyllis got fired. Wow. What an Olympics.

Hatred abounds via student media

Local WALT DJs have been causing some ruckus on campus with their foul-tongued tomfoolery, and until now the Index had spent the hours of 9-11 p.m. on Sundays wallowing in aural debauchery. But now on-air funnymen Mbye Njie and Ryan Carvalho deem Libertas "a bunch of haters." The Index reels with self-loathing and no longer wishes to be associated with a staff of haters ("except for Russel X," notes Njie) until they clean up their act.

[The C.M.A. Index is meant to be thought-provoking, informative, and wholly subjective.]