WHAT WILL CANNON THINKS

w i l l c a n n o n

Censorship: Breaking news: the Communists censor. But let me take this opportunity to mention our own pet Commies: the Davidson Media Board. Yes, when making their Christmas lists Ryan and Mbye should remind Santa that they both lack class, but what they don't lack is the right to free speech. Bringing Code of Responsibility charges against someone for an opinion is a dangerous precedent. Lamar, Jessica Mering (Davidsonian), and Lauran Halpin (WALT): beware.

Penis Manifesto: I'll keep this short (for a number of reasons). You both need to lock yourselves in a broom closet with Mike Tarver for an afternoon. Then hopefully you'll get back to writing about things I'm interested in, like sex.

Le Tigre: If Mozart went to hell, Satan is playing Le Tigre over the loudspeakers.

Vandalism: Team Vagt finally let's us stay out past midnight. Don't screw us over now. If you don't get social probation, you deserve a blackball. And Linda, you're right about one thing. The link between bagel theft and sexual assault is tenuous at best.

Tivo: Remember in Terminator 2 when the machines took over? If Tivo is their leader, I'm Benedict Arnold.

Poem Addendum:

My new husband asks
What's this on my wrist?
He throws down his ring and he
Balls up his fists.
I explain about first loves,
Sweet infinity
I don't mention the
Infections or the HIV.

This issue: a flat C.

master of the universe