Two weeks ago I drove up to DC to volunteer at the National Republican Senatorial Committee's gala dinner. Everyone thought that I was crazy for driving fourteen hours in the middle of the week to work a dinner for a political party I don't even belong to. The invitation to do slave labor for the GOP came through a man I worked with this summer in Senator Fred Thompson's office. My coworker's wife works for the NRSC and was in charge of securing people who could escort the VIP guests. Working at this dinner ended up being more than just a chance to meet famous senators. I spent an entire party kicking it conservative-style, and damn if it wasn't fun. The only slip in my Elizabeth Dole act was when Bush started talking about Saddam Hussein. During his speech he stated that "we are dealing with a man who has invaded two countries twice, one time each country." While his admirers silently looked on I was practically rolling on the ground I was laughing so hard.

I showed up for the event and was really nervous about who I would be paired up with. On more than one occasion this summer I had run-ins with evil senators. One in particular involved an esteemed Republican yelling at me for being a "normal person" on a senator's only elevator-which was pretty funny considering that he was old and confused and had actually stepped onto a regular elevator. I was so flustered and uncomfortable that I almost retorted, "I am most certainly not normal." Needless to say, I was relieved when I was assigned John Cornyn, Attorney General of Texas, who is currently running for the Senate. Escorting him that evening highlighted the effects of working on Capital Hill for too many years. General Cornyn was more personable then the majority of the senators that I dealt with over the summer.

I was completely amazed by the difference between veteran senators and the young hopefuls like Cornyn. The senators that I had contact with were at times incredibly rude and completely self-absorbed. Maybe it was my own naivete that made me think public servants would be more affable, but I honestly believed that they were. It made me think about how becoming a politician can lead to a form of multiple personality disorder. There is something about the life that requires the people involved to assume a fake personality. This persona is often the only part of a politician that we as the constituent public will ever see.

While eating dinner and socializing with "fellow" Republicans I realized that I was doing the exact same thing. I had nothing in common with these people, yet I was talking with them as if I did. Not only was I in socialite mode, but I was also stating political views that fit in with the dinner and were not my own. I definitely found myself slipping into this persona rather easily. Not that this was an entirely negative transformation; I think it's important to be able to talk well with all types of people. But there has always been a part of me that wanted to get into politics because I thought that I would be good at it and not corrupt. The thing is that I'm often scared that it doesn't matter what your intentions are when you begin, but that our political system makes it almost impossible to succeed and not become jaded in the process. If every day you wake up and have to assume your political persona, at some point doesn't a disjunction form between what you believe in and what you do?