24 October, 2002
The C.M.A.* Index
*campus mental atmosphere
Ah, go shove it up yer thyroid
Eco-activist wannabes and conspiracy-theorist wannabes all over campus patted themselves on their hairy, doom-foretelling backs this week as Potassium Iodide became readily available for public consumption in case of a local nuclear holocaust. Isn't it odd that Davidson is but four miles away from an active nuclear power plant, and the first we hear about it is, "Don't forget to take your pill when the world goes ker-splat"? Nevertheless, as our humble hamlet fears the imminent destruction of the first- and second-largest wildcats in the world, the Index belches vegetarian bologna, mumbles "panic," and falls back asleep during yet another of Big Bird's "Journeys for Ernie."
Medieval Festival at Commons
Ye Indexe raises its stein of mead in salute to the Commons' glorious gala of meat, potatoes, extraneous vowels, and a way of life that died 5+ centuries ago. The Index went back for an extra helping of the "twister fries." Next time, more jousting, forsooth.
Maroon Mongooses? No. Indigo Elephant-Shrews? No. Hmm . . .
Purple Bunnies, Davidson's upcoming student publication, will print anonymous stories and contributions from students and medical professionals to bring advice on health issues to our campus. See ad under the afterglo for the straight dope. The Index applauds all involved but remains baffled and infuriated that it didn't get its own column entitled "Tail I've Gotten Recently."
Mr. Bean goes to college
Apparently a small, dapper British fellow with what we can only assume is a love for misadventure has descended on our campus. At least, there's a really cool Morris Cooper mini-car to be seen in the senior parking lots. Standing about four feet tall, with tires the size of a normal cheese wheel and 96/97 parking stickers, this automotive spectacle is a marvel of European compactitude. Who are you, mystery driver? How'd you get a turkey stuck on your head?