The C.M.A.* Index
*campus mental atmosphere
Coming soon, brick trees
Well that last bastion of flickerball-trodden wilderness, tucked behind the cozy armpit of Akers, the IMAC fields, have suffered the sting of lusciously sweet modernity: Astro-Turf. The field hockey team rejoices for better playability while the Index sighs and sheds a single tear as though it actually cared.
Back in the USSR
The Court got a nice taste of ribald juxtaposition a few weekends ago as Kevin Epps’s Flowe balcony adornment got a bit redder than normal. Old Glory gained a flapping buddy in the form of a full-sized Soviet flag only to have its partner in patriotism maliciously removed after a day or so. The Index continues chortling (as it has for the past two weeks) and tips its bowler to the anonymous pranksters. If anybody out there got a picture of it, call x6952 for much love.
Recession Hits Union; Shane reportedly not enjoying it, dude
Everything costs more. It sucks. But what sucks more is that the prices for 900 Room beer have gone up. That sucks a lot more. The Index sucks on an empty bottle of High Life he brought from Applebee’s, which sucks. Minors glow triumphantly with the knowledge that, come adulthood, they won’t have noticed the price change.
[The CMA Index is meant to be thought-provoking, informative, and wholly subjective.]