WHAT WILL CANNON THINKS

starring . . . b r i a n c r e e c h
& a n d y m a r t i n

The Davidsonian's Evolution: Courtesy of Phillip Sasser: The Davidsonian's development from bland and uncontroversial to...bland and uncontroversial?

Iraq Point/Counterpoint: Mass kudos go out to Libertas for once sponsoring a debate and allowing the conservative right to pollute these hallowed pages. We never thought we'd see the day that Libertas would propose a game of international Cowboys and Indians followed by a massive all-American rendition of "Wipeout" played on the noggins of our foes. Since the debate boils down to the nature of Sadam's evilness, remember that South Park taught us that he slept with Satan, much like many of our parents may have done, and so he can't be that bad.

Thomas's Travels: As Thomas Ward gallivants across the Indian sub-continent, we at Davidson stop and wonder how Indian beer compares to the glorious Beast Light. What happens when you press the inconspicuous dot on the forehead? Does coherence translate in cross-oceanic travel?

Playboy: Gratitude goes out to Christina Hotsko for her critical synopsis of forty years worth of unread Playboy articles. Men can now find validity in the fact that all those Playboy articles we skipped weren't really worth reading in the first place. Next time include more use of the words boobs, hooters, and big'uns. Still we wonder where'd you get all this porn and can we borrow it when you're done?

Outpost Art: As the Outpost disappears from the Davidson consciousness, we ponder how it survived for so long. As Team Vagt gets its wish to move in on the court, we stop and wonder how many people will throw flowers on the grave of this once fundamental College institution. Our prediction is that it will become like so many dead relatives and war heroes and have its remembrance sanctioned to holidays at best.

Waffle House: This article presupposes that Ryan Carvalho and Mbye Njye are campus celebrities, largely due to a tasteless, petty, and, in the end, unremarkable radio show. Furthermore it asks us to care about a custom that is also fairly unremarkable--eating at a regional fast food chain with at least 1,000 branches--and whether the two "have deep talks about life." We most certainly do not.

So we leave this issue a bit confused and still apathetic. As our attention diverts to reruns of The Simpsons, we can help but be reminded of the days when our forefathers had only two channels. Our cable affords us dozens of channels of crap, and for this we are grateful. In this moment of delight we give the Libertas a solid C+.